Remember our five senses? Hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, tasting. Science has known for quite some time that purposefully stimulating our senses has many practical benefits.
For example, scientists found, that a dessert eaten with a heavy silver spoon tastes better because our brain links the high quality of the spoon to the food, which, according to our brain, must, therefore, be high quality as well. Good to know for a restaurant owner.
You see, our senses are powerful. No wonder they get manipulated by businesses, all the time. But did you know that our five senses can also make you memorable, interesting, and even alluring in online dating?
“Touching their [human’s] emotions is like touching their body. If you do it, you’ll be remembered.”
– Derek Sivers
How text can stimulate her senses
When you message with someone online it’s hard to transport emotion. After all, you can’t touch the person, they can’t smell your $70 Gucci perfume, and of course, taste is not that easy to send either. All you are left with is seeing and maybe hearing – in case the two of you like to video chat.
So how does one bring senses into play through text?
Easy. You just have to make your date think of situations which she remembers so vividly that the mere mental image stimulates her senses. You can do so by asking her questions that she can’t answer without using her senses.
A few examples:
- “What is the first thing besides your alarm that you hear when you wake up in the morning?”
- “What’s your favorite line of your favorite song?”
- “What was the best gift anyone ever gave you? Why?”
- “What was the most beautiful place you have ever been to? What made it so special?”
- “Can you remember what the best burger you’ve ever had tasted like?”
- “What is the best smell in the world to you?”
- “Is there a smell that brings back old memories for you?”
- “What makes a great cuddler a great cuddler?”
- “What makes a perfect hug for you?”
- “What was your first kiss like?”
By the way, the best questions stimulate multiple senses.
How to use senses-stimulating questions authentically
You now have a powerful tool at hand that, when used right, will make you the most interesting guy she has ever met. But knowledge of the technique is not enough. Knowing how to use it is just as important.
- The questions work well a few messages into a conversation. They aren’t openers. Few quality women will respond to a stranger messaging them, “Hey there! What makes a perfect hug for you?”
- You should only ask questions that actually interest you. Getting her all into your messages just to discover at an actual date that it was all fake is a huge waste of both your time.
- Don’t just ask the question out of the blue. Lead up to it. E.g.,
You: “I’m a huge music geek. These days, I listen mostly to 70s rock. You know, the good old stuff that they don’t produce anymore. Are you into music?
Her: I guess, but I listen to pretty much everything.
You: Do you have a favorite song?
Her: I do. It’s Hotel California by the Eagles.
You: What’s your favorite line of that song?
Her: Hm, I don’t know. Let me think. [plays the song in her head] Oh yeah, I love this line: You can check out any time you like but you can never leave.
You: What is it about this line that makes it so special for you?
- Don’t jump from question to question. Ask a question, then explore why she gave that answer. Make sure you also elaborate on your own opinion. It’s a conversation, not an interview.
- Come up with questions that you would ask. Don’t just use mine (although you can , of course). Ask yourself, “What do I want to learn about this person before I am willing to meet her in real life?” Then find questions to get an answer and design them in a way that stimulates her senses.
Happy testing! ;)