How To Drive Any Woman Away – A Sarcastic Look at What Turns Women Off

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As it turns out giving bad advice is actually much easier than giving good advice. So here you go – the surefire way to make every woman run for the hills (with a bit of sarcasm).

The following article must not be taken seriously. Thank you!

Neediness is all you need

She is the target and neediness is the way!

Make sure you call her every time you think about her! If she doesn’t pick up the phone try texting her in 5-10 minute intervals. If that doesn’t help you can still use an array of social media channels to finally break through to her. Poking her, posting on her wall and sending digital presents are among the best ways to reach out and make sure she remembers you – forever!

Arrogance makes you look even better

If you think that you are better, smarter, or more important than others then you have the right mindset for approaching women. Every girl would like to hear how great and perfect you are. The longer you talk about your uniqueness the better. Don’t forget to get into detail about why you are just so much better than everyone else.

She desperately wants you to be desperate

Who wouldn’t want to sleep with a guy who doesn’t care who he goes home with?

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Don’t worry, women can’t recognize a man’s desperation. Just go ahead and try your luck with every two-legged person of female sex. It’s just a numbers game from this point forward.

The whole world revolves around you – only you

Talking constantly about yourself is one of the most powerful ways you can impress a woman. The logic behind this is mind boggling. You know yourself better than anyone else, right? She wants to get to know you. Hence, the best way for her to learn as much as possible about you is by you telling her. Sometimes dating can be so easy.

Tell her everything, even if she seems disinterested or bored. Love is a marathon, not a sprint!

Important: Ask her as few questions as possible! It’s common knowledge that women don’t like to talk much about themselves.

Lack of personal hygiene

A guy reeking of sweat is incredibly attractive. It’s manly, it stands out and it makes her horny. So how can you build up a smell that kicks her in the throat?

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  • Shower infrequently, especially after physical activity.
  • Stay away from deodorants!
  • Wear the same clothes for as long as possible. This may sound counterintuitive but trust me, she will notice.

“Excuse me, may I kiss you?”

The more insecure you are the better! Everybody knows shy and timid is the new sexy! Always ask for her permission. Always!

It’s not only sexy but also the way to go if you want to make her feel like a man. Don’t take the initiative, ever!

Special tip: Let her make all decisions. That way she gets exactly what she wants.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Pick up lines like “Did it hurt…when you fell from heaven?” and “Is it hot out here? Or is it just you?” are pretty uncommon and rarely used. These are magic bullets just waiting for you! It’s best to take one and stick with it for a couple of years. Make it your signature move that you become known for!

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If the glass only were half empty

As you probably know women just love complaining about their friends, clothes, men and life in general. Being negative makes you one of us and lets you stand out from the countless annoying fucks who smile all day. What are they so happy about?

Anyway, topics like oil spills, serial killers or global warming do not only make for a heated conversation but also show that you are a serious thinker who questions everything.

Drunk = $%§#&@

Has this ever happened you: You’re trying hard to get fucked up in order to get the guts to approach the sexiest woman at the bar and in the next moment she is talking to a confident, sober guy? What the hell, right?

The problem is not you, it’s her. In order to make drinking work, you need to get her involved. Buy her shots, get close, lick her face…whatever it takes dude!

Drinking lowers your inhibitions, makes you smell from a mile away and if you do enough of it, you’ll become the center of attention at any venue! Need I to say more?

Enough with the sarcasm for today. Please promise not to try any of this at home! In fact, do the opposite and you’ll be fine. :) Additional to this post, you can read “9 Biggest Turn-offs For Women“. Enjoy!