In a Woman’s Head: What Are Her Intentions With You?

Do you want to know if she’s feeling the spark? Or what are her intentions with you? When you walk through life you come across patterns. For quite a while now, I have observed situations men encounter with women that happen time after time again. Many men are completely clueless why women act the way they do, so here are six situations that might shed some light on the mystery that is women.

Situation A: She is just not that into you

Well, she feels absolutely no physical attraction to you and honestly, there is nothing you can do about it. Becoming platonic friends with her is an option but do you really want that?

How can you recognize it?

  • You ask her out – she declines.
  • She tells you she has no time, but then she finds time for somebody else.
  • She avoids talking to you when you see each other on parties or at work.

Of course, any single sign can be misleading. But if you repeatedly run into one or more of the examples above it’s pretty obvious: she is just not that into you.

What can you do about it?

You can’t do anything. No PUA training, no present and no heroic deed can change her mind.

That doesn’t mean you are unattractive to other women. It merely reflects her personal opinion, nothing more.

Situation B: Good looks, bad behaviour

It happens to me quite often. I meet a physically attractive guy. He approaches me. We begin to talk and somehow his attractiveness goes from 100 to 0. Puff – just like that.

Once this hot guy came up to me. We talked with each other for a couple of minutes and I immediately noticed his arrogance and self-centeredness. He was constantly acting cool!


He: Hey, baby! I know you’re attracted to me. I can see it in your eyes. Don’t play this hard to get girl. Here’s my card. Give me a call.
Me: I won’t.
He: Sure, you will.
Me: No way! You can wait your whole life for it but it will never happen, BABY. Take your money, cars and arrogance and leave me alone.

Needless to say, I didn’t call him.

Other examples of behaviour that turns most women off: Indecisiveness, bragging, only talking about yourself or topics that interest only you,…

How can you recognize it?

If you have been told that you are physically attractive, but somehow you can’t hold conversations, then you know it. You do something that is a turn-off for women.

What can you do about it?

Try to figure out what it is. It’s not easy to self-reflect. That’s why I would suggest you to ask her directly. “Hey I know you are not my biggest fan, but I’d like to learn from my mistakes. Could you please tell me what exactly turned you off about me? Please be completely honest, I can take it.”
Being so blunt often shows her that there is more than meets the eye and she might even become interested in getting to know you.

Honesty is underrated. Honesty and showing your willingness to improve yourself is sexy. It makes you stand out from all other scared mice out there.

Situation C: There is something about you, but it’s not your looks

She isn’t impressed by your physical appearance, but there is something about you that makes her curious. If you play your cards right you are in a good position to get to know each other on a deeper level.


Women often fall in love with guys, to whom they aren’t that physically attracted. Our emotions navigate us, not our eyes.

Lots of successful relationships started that way. Let me give you an example: I find my boyfriend Julian quite attractive. But at the beginning, there was something about his looks that I “couldn’t live with”. At least, I thought so. I always wanted a man who was much taller than I, (I am 181 cm or 5.93 ft tall) but unfortunately, Julian is a little bit shorter than I am. There was just something about him – he was incredibly attractive from the inside. It was his confidence. This “I don’t give a shit if you like me” attitude.

How can you recognize it?

  • She is reserved. She doesn’t show you clearly that she’s into you – because she doesn’t know if she is.
  • She loves spending time with you and laughs at your jokes. She respects you. She asks you for your opinion.
  • When you call her – she has time for you almost every time.

What can you do about it?

Well, she already likes the way you are. Now it’s time to offer her something more than just friendship. If you don’t take action, she will continue seeing you just as a friend.

You have to either tell her how you feel about her or show it to her. Or you want to lose a couple of years, being just friends with a woman you desire, listening to stories about her dating other guys.

Showing her: When you give her a goodbye hug try to stay a little bit longer in her space and hug her tighter than usual. Do this for a couple of times. If she moves away every time and shows you that she’s feeling uncomfortable with you doing this, then you know she is not attracted to you.

Telling her: Just ask her for a date. Tell her, you want to go out with her – just the two of you. Otherwise, she might bring some other friends and you’re going to feel like the fifth wheel.

Don’t spill your feelings right in her face. That’s a turn-off for most women. Don’t say things like: “Aaam, you know what… I think I love you.” Forget about big romantic gestures in the beginning! They work in cheesy movies but not in real life.

Situation D: Best friends who could become lovers


You are platonic friends with a woman. Over time, you have developed feelings for her but you don’t know if she feels the same.

There is a small problem: If you tell her, you have feelings for her, one of two things can happen:

Either she is also attracted to you or you lose her as a friend.

You have to choose and live with the consequences. Not knowing is going to break your heart.

How can you recognize it?

You will know.

What can you do about it?

Like I wrote before: either you make your intentions clear, for example with the steps from in situation C, or you don’t. Can you take listening to her stories about other guys she is sleeping with? If the answer is no, then tell her! Being indecisive in this situation is the worst thing you can do. And who knows, maybe she feels the same but is also afraid to show it.

Situation E: You are in the waiting line

If you’re in love with a girl, who is in a relationship with somebody else but still spends time with you, then you’re in the waiting line.

The reason is that she doesn’t want to lose you as an option B. If she breaks up with her boyfriend, she doesn’t want to be alone. Therefore, she has you. She enjoys your attention and also wants to make her boyfriend a little bit jealous.

This behaviour disgusts me, but I know many women who do it and also many guys who have been in this situation. Trust me, you are better than that!

How can you recognize it?

She gives you mixed signals. She is already taken and wouldn’t cheat (at least with you), but she also makes you compliments and touches you just a little bit too long from time to time.

You are basically the guy who does boyfriend stuff with her. (watching a movie, going out, dancing,…) Just minus the sex.

What can you do about it?

You should definitely move on. She would break your heart because if she wanted you really then she would be with you. In reality, she wants somebody else more. Here is what you should do:

  • Get distance from her.
  • Don’t call her or text her.
  • Date other women.

I hope knowing about these situations will help you avoid the bad ones and deliberately pick situations that benefit you.

Which of these situations have you already been in? It’s not unlikely being in a mixed one – like A and D. Let me know in the comments about your current situation and I’m happy to discuss it with you! :)

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Wish you all the best,