How To Use Negative Feelings To Your Advantage

When we talk about becoming an attractive man we also talk about negative feelings like insecurity, nervousness, anxiety and jealousy in the same breath. How great would it be if you could get rid of these emotional barriers?

The truth is, you can’t erase a feeling, BUT you can quiet it down.

Extreme sports athletes are experts in doing this. They feel fear but they have programmed themselves to act nonetheless. Not only do they act despite feeling fear, they have associated fear with the pleasure that follows – the adrenaline rush. In this post I’ll show you how to do the same!


Step 1: Become Aware Of Your Thoughts

Negative feelings are usually triggered by thoughts we aren’t aware of. “What do I say to her?”, “Is she here with someone else?”, “I am not good enough for her”. Destructive thoughts like that dance around in our minds and we don’t even know it!

In order to get rid of unwanted emotions, we have to catch these negative thoughts! But how do you catch a thought you aren’t aware of? This is where feelings come in.

Negative feelings should be a red flag to you! They tell you “Wait dude there is a thought that triggered us! Fast, make sure you catch it!” I strongly encourage you to write down every negative thought you find.


Step 2: Reprogram Your Trigger

Your negative thoughts are triggers for unwanted feelings. But we can corrupt these triggers and use them to our own advantage!

From now on every negative thought means TAKE ACTION! What kind of action? Well, you have a couple of options depending on the situation.

Write the thought down
Knowing your negative thoughts and writing them down is essential for rewriting your stories. Know your enemy, right?

Consciously accept the thought
Tell yourself it’s ok to feel this way! This is a little trick that will lower your anxiety level instantly.

Force yourself with social pressure
Let’s say you notice the trigger, “I don’t feel like going to the gym today”. Immediately call up a friend and arrange to go together. The social pressure will make you go no matter if you feel like it or not.

Do it anyway
Count to three, tell yourself “Fuck it let’s do it!”, put on a smile and just do what you are afraid of! I know this sounds stupid but trust me, this is how extreme sports athletes do it.

The outcome of your actions doesn’t matter! What counts is building the habit of taking action no matter what. If you do that then reaching your goals will be just a matter of time.

Step 3: Reward Yourself

The last step: reward yourself for taking action! Rewarding yourself will enforce your new mental link so make sure you don’t beat the action you have taken down as “not a big deal”.

A reward is at least a “well done! one step closer towards my big goal!” that you tell yourself and even better something that you wouldn’t do normally like treating yourself to a spa with massage, eating a special meal, going to a sports event – just pick something you like but don’t do every week.


This process is extremely simple and straightforward. It’s almost too good to be true but trust me it’s not as easy as it seems.

Getting into the habit of always taking action no matter what will require every piece of courage you can find in yourself. But once you have built this habit there won’t be anything that can stop you from becoming wildly successful with women.

I hope this little guide helps. Try it and let me know what happened in the comments!

Take care,