Approaching women seems to be one of the most difficult things to men on earth. I’ve met guys brave enough to jump out of planes but afraid of starting a conversation with a girl.
What if I told you that it´s pretty easy to talk to women?! You just have to get used to it. And I’m not talking about “fake it till you make it”. Of course, you have to trick your brain a little but it will feel good in the end. Let me explain.
Can you remember your first day in school? Everything is new, everything is strange and you’re right in the middle of it all. I guess you started feeling comfortable in school after all, didn’t you? At least the feeling of being strange faded someday. And the same thing will happen with women. All it takes is practice.
Some truths about approaching women
There are lots of misconceptions revolving around approaching women. Let’s clarify some of them:
- You will have to approach women.
- It can feel a little bit scary at first.
- It’s not just a numbers game – there are ways to reduce the risk of getting rejected immensely.
- Screwing up is a lot of fun once you see it that way, plus it gives you some great stories.
- Keep calm, she’s a human being just like you.
Some common mistakes
It’s not possible to point out every single thing that may disturb any random girl but if you avoid the behaviour below you are well on your way to success:
- Don’t play too cool for school – it will only make you come across arrogant.
- Don’t brag. Just don’t.
- Don’t put her on a pedestal – talk to her like you would to anybody else.
- Don’t use some sort of canned line or conversation opener. Just be honest and say what you think.
- Don’t overthink things. Say to yourself “this is going to be fun”, then go over immediately.
- Don’t look like a serial killer – SMILE!!!!
How to never get rejected again
Approaching women is all about fear of rejection. If you just go up to a random girl who hasn’t even noticed you, things can quickly turn sour, but with these tips you can dramatically increase your chances.
This is how it works:
You need the right mindset
How you think shows in your behaviour whether you like it or not. So better make sure you replace your old harmful thoughts with new ones who aid you better.
Some useful thoughts for approaching women (in first person):
- “Talking to women is fun.”
- “I always have a great time when I talk to women.”
- “Talking to women is easy.”
- “Every time I want a woman, she also wants me.”
- “She is just waiting for me to approach her.”
Notice the signals women send you
Women will always send you signals that show you they are interested. Here are some signals to look out for:
- They will for example order a drink right next to you even if they have to walk over from the other side of the bar. → just say “hi”
- Another example is a girl searching obviously for a lighter so you can see it. → light her cigarette, fast!
- Eye contact with a little smile or stroking through her hair while looking at you is another sign to show you she wants you to approach her.
- Dancing right next to you and brushing up against you.
- She walks to the toilet and makes sure you see her on her way. After she comes back her make-up is refreshed. Often she will even brush against you on her way back.
Those are just some signs to look out for and there are probably hundreds, but basically she does everything to catch your attention, show you she is attractive, and make it easier for you to approach her.
After she knows you noticed her, your job is to go over without hesitation and talk to her! If you don’t do it, you will lose almost all of your attractiveness, so better make sure you go over immediately! Remember: she just invited you and you will not get rejected!