Compliments are a box of confusion. On the one hand, every guy knows that women supposedly like compliments, but on the other hand, how to give them so you don’t come across as a weirdo is a totally different story.
Luckily for you, I came up with a simple formula that makes it a breeze giving memorable compliments that will make you immediately stand out to her.
The first principle of a good compliment is that you can never make a mistake if you pay a genuine compliment. And I can’t emphasize enough how important this is.
I realized how much difference it makes years ago when I wanted to show a client at our Conquer Confidence Retreat in Lisbon how easy it can be to compliment the barkeeper he liked. To show him that even the most overused compliment can work, I told him I’m going to compliment her on her eyes.
I felt awkward knowing in a couple of seconds I was about to compliment her on the eyes and at that moment I didn’t realize why. It didn’t feel right but I pushed myself for the sake of the demonstration and to show him how easy it can be. She started mixing our cocktails, we talked for a bit and she smiled at me. Then I felt the urge to say “By the way, you have an incredible smile, so pretty! It charges the whole room with a powerful positivity!”
I explained to my client that the moment she turned to me and smiled, I completely forgot about wanting to compliment her eyes and felt compelled to share with her my thoughts about her radiant smile. And as I was talking about her smile, the awkwardness from before disappeared because I was authentic and could connect to my emotions towards her.
The easiest way to be genuine with your compliments is to do no planning, express your thoughts at the moment whenever you feel almost compelled to do it. That”s the first key to successful compliments.
Look at her. What is this one thing that makes her looks so interesting to you? Does your heart skip a beat when she looks at you with her warm beautiful eyes? Or do you feel like all your problems are gone when she smiles at you?
“You have such pretty eyes,” is a classic example of an overused impersonal compliment. But some women you meet have such incredible eyes that you’ll genuinely want to tell them. This leads me to my second point:
The second principle of a good compliment is that you explain the “Why?”, i.e. the reason behind why you like the thing you just complimented her on.
Trying to come up with a great thing to say means that it won’t be related to her and moreover, you’re trying to impress her, which doesn’t represent confidence.
As I demonstrated above with the compliment I gave the barkeeper “Btw, you have an incredible smile, so pretty! it charges the whole room with a powerful positivity!”
“It charges the whole room with a powerful positivity!”, is the why.
Let’s give it another try with the pretty eyes compliment.
“You have such pretty eyes. I have never seen anyone with sprinkles of gold and green around their iris. It’s mesmerizing.”
Isn’t that a big improvement?
As you see in the example above, it’s not simply about being genuine and giving a simple reason why. Moreover, the “why” should be related specifically to her.
Women constantly try to figure out if a man is honest and cares about her and not just her body. And a brief explanation of why you like what you like will make her feel more secure about your intentions and will prove that you’re not using the same lines for every girl you talk to.
Here is the formula again: Genuine Compliment + Reason Why = Great Compliment
If you apply it then you can turn anything into a great compliment.
- “Your blouse looks baller. I know this doesn’t sound like something a guy would say but I really like how the texture looks and feels. It’s almost like a pretty cloud you can wear.”
- “You drive like a badass. I don’t know a lot of women, or guys, who are that fearless.”
- “Is this your cat? Oh my god, it’s the cutest thing ever. You can really tell that she feels your affection, the way she wants to be close to you.”
You see, giving compliments is easy as can be. Just get some practice in and adding the “Why?” will become second nature.
Try it out and I’d like to know what happened, so feel free to send me an email. I’m fully excited to read about your experiences!